Battle of the Bands
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: When Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles had formed Dudeitude (or Rainbow Express), they hadn't expected THIS to happen...


_A/N_

 _So, I watched the episode_ The Battle of the Boy Bands _recently and...yeah. Really didn't like it. Multiple reasons, but it didn't help that the singing on all the characters' parts was awful, and it seemed to be both criticizing aspects of the music industry while embracing those same aspects. If anything, I was reminded of_ Sonic Underground _\- yeah, many of its songs were cringeworthy as well, but those songs were at least integrated into the episode rather than coming out of left field._

 _Anyway, just me, it hasn't ruined_ Boom _for me as a whole, which I certainly hold above_ Underground _as a net positive. And hey, got me to drabble this up at least._

* * *

 **Battle of the Bands**

"Well," said Sonic. "This is weird."

Weird. The whole world was weird, when one got down to it. Robots, villages without a name, giant snakes in space suits…The world was weird, and for Sonic, that was where part of its appeal lay. But this was a different kind of weird. A weirdness that to him, was…well, weird. The weird kind of weird.

"Hey," said the other Sonic.

Case in point, as he looked at the three hedgehogs in front of him. One of them looking exactly like him. A little shorter, with different coloured arms, a guitar-shaped medallion instead of a scarf, and different sneakers as well, but still…he looked just like him. _Was_ him.

"Imposters," Knuckles sneered. "I knew Eggman was up to no good."

"How?" Tails asked.

"He didn't show up last episode."

"Oh."

Sonic ignored them, and the sound of a house's fourth wall crumbling down. Imposters. It was possible that this other Sonic was an imposter – Eggman's absence _had_ been noted after all. But still, the imperfections were there. And that didn't explain the two hedgehogs by his counterpart's side.

One of them was female. Pink hair, darker skin, leather suit…she kind of reminded him of Amy. Only without the whole "yeah, she's my friend, but…well…there's friends and…"

"Dude," said the third hedgehog, looking at Knuckles, talking as if he were stoned. "You're like…big…y'know…"

And Sonic turned his attention to this breed of rodent. He was a lot like the blue hedgehog, only with green instead of blue, a lot more hair, and a drum-shaped medallion instead of a guitar-shaped one. Kind of like the female hedgehog, he noticed, her medallion the shape of a piano.

"Big?" Knuckles exclaimed. "I'll show you-"

"Knuckles, calm down, you are big," said Sonic, walking forward. "I'll handle this."

He came up to the other hedgehog. Who looked at him. Silently.

"So, um, yeah," said Sonic. "We've just saved every fangirl on this island from giving their life and soul to pop music, so if you could just cut to the chase and-"

"We know."

Sonic raised an eyebrow – his voice. Similar, but not identical. If anything, it made him even more sure this was an alternate reality version of himself. All the little differences that Eggman would have covered had he really been trying to create a body double.

"We saw the show," said the other Sonic. "Thanks to Cyrus and his dimensional viewer."

"Cyrus?" Sonic asked.

"Dimensional viewer?" Tails said. He flew over. "Hey, does it utilize a-"

"Yep, he's this universe's version of Cyrus," the green hedgehog said. "Ugh. Can't I see _my_ counterpart for once?"

"Ah, relax Manic," said the pink hedgehog. "My in-universe counterpart was one of those fangirls." She retched. "Ugh. No taste. Absolutely no taste."

"So is that why you and Bartley decided to-"

There was a screech that sounded like a banshee dying at the hands of a sasquatch, as the pink hedgehog leapt onto the green hedgehog and began wrestling. And three members of Team Sonic just stared.

"Just ignore them," said the other Sonic. "Siblings, man."

"Siblings?" the real Sonic (yes, 'real,' he told himself) asked.

"Yeah," the other Sonic said. "Manic, Sonia. My brother and sister."

So the pink hedgehog was this Sonic's sister. No wonder why he hadn't felt anything for her in the same way that he did for-

"So, anyway," said the other Sonic. "We know about you. Ever since we beat Ro _butt_ nik-"

"Robuttnik?" Tails and Knuckles asked.

"Robuttnik," said the other Sonic. "I mean, Robotnik."

They stared at him.

"You, do have a Robotnik in this universe don't you?" he asked.

They shook their heads.

"Your nemesis? Guy with robots? Overweight?"

"Um…" Tails ventured. "Well, we do have Eggman, but-"

"Eggman?!" exclaimed Manic, now picking himself out of the sand. "What kind of name is that?!"

"A silly one," said Sonia.

"Um…" Sonic trailed off. He didn't want to be in a position of defending Eggman. Looking at his friends, Tails didn't either, and Knuckles seemed to have a hard time understanding what was going on.

 _Makes two of us._

"Anyway," the other Sonic said. "Cyrus showed us your concert. Where you beat that Beaver guy."

"Huh?" Knuckles asked. "You mean…" He smiled. "You mean…Dreamboat Express?!"

"No," said Sonic hastily. "He means Dudeitude. I mean…" He trailed off. "Look," he said. "It's not something we do often, and-"

"Oh yeah," Manic laughed. "We could tell."

Another silence descended on Team Sonic. Broken only by the sound of chirping birds, and birds asking what a banshee was.

"Well, yeah," said the other Sonic, looking back at the one called Manic. "Your music, it was…well…"

"Terrible," said Sonia. "Absolute garbage. No tone, no rhythm, no melody."

"Um…" Tails said. "Actually, I thought-"

"No," said the other Sonic. "It was…bad. I mean, really bad. Robotnik-level bad."

"You mean Eggman?"

He shrugged. And the real Sonic stood there.

So their singing hadn't been up to par. What of it? They'd saved the day after all. And-

"So, anyway," said the other Sonic. "Just a friendly heads up – we're gonna put on a show."

"A show?" Knuckles asked.

"A show," he said. And he touched his medallion, a movement mimicked by his siblings. A second later, Sonia, Manic, and the other Sonic, had a keyboard, drum-set, and guitar before them respectively.

"Cool," exclaimed Tails. "Hey, did you use a shrinking-"

"No, it's magic," said Sonia. "From our mothers."

"Oh right. Magic," Tails mused. Before muttering, "magic. Amateurs."

"Magic," Knuckles whispered, staring at the instruments as if he'd never seen them before.

 _I haven't either,_ Sonic reflected.

"So, yeah," said the other Sonic. "We're the Sonic Underground. Freedom fighters, music players, best heroes of time and space."

"What about that other Sonic in the Sega-"

"I _said_ , true heroes," said the other Sonic, looking at Sonia. He turned his gaze back. "So, yeah. Friendly notice. After your, er, performance, figured we'd give the people a treat." Their instruments disappeared back into their medallion forms. "So, see yah."

And they began walking off. And left the three members of Team Sonic, or Rainbow Express, or Dudeitude, staring. Staring, until-

"Wait!" Tails exclaimed. "You can't!"

"Can't?" Sonia asked. "Why?"

"Why?" Tails asked. "It…um…"

"Tails," said the real Sonic cautiously. "What are you-"

"We were here first!" Tails yelled. "This is our territory!"

"Tails, stop before-"

"A battle!" Tails yelled. "Tonight! A battle of the bands!"

Sonic felt like part of him had died. Gone into a special zone, found no rings, and been beaten to death with those floating balls that kept popping up. And Knuckles…Knuckles finally seemed to be on the same page. And given the look on his face, wanted to rip those pages out.

"A battle?" the other Sonic asked. "As in, a…"

"Yeah," Tails said. "A battle. We beat Beaver, and we'll beat you!"

Sonic wanted to point out that beating Beaver was like beating Eggman – a given outcome that required minimal effort.

"A battle," said his counterpart. He grinned. "Alright, fine. A battle it is." He looked at his siblings. "Let's juice."

Grabbing them, he zoomed off. And Sonic watched him – this other Sonic was at least as fast as him. And no doubt even better on guitar.

"A battle," Knuckles mused. "After…after…"

Tails looked at them, as if only now realizing what he'd got them into. Only now realizing that maybe, just maybe, their boy-band thing was a one-off. Looked at then until Sonic spoke.

"Well," he said. "You always _did_ say I have a lovely singing voice, right?"


End file.
